Countless times have I thought
To let my zealous feelings rest at your doorstep
Without caring for where it will lead
In regards to my heart and self,
To try to express how futile finding bliss is without you,
And to let you know how much I have loved you in solitude.
How can I bring it up to myself to tell you,
Of my bare infatuations when to me you are but divine.
How I did intend to disguise myself at a distance,
And let my yearnings be unrequited and unknown.
Concealed shall be my love,
Concealed shall be my tears uncared for.
But now that you come and ask
If I ever thought of you in love or otherwise,
How can I even express the extent of my love,
Where unsaid all pain and me joy lies.
This is a translation of 'কতবার ভেবেছিনু (Kotobaro Bhebechhinu)' written by Rabindranath Tagore in 1885. He based the song's music on an old rendition (around 1770s) of Ben Jonson's poem 'To Celia'. The rendition is called 'Drink to me only with thine eyes' (first line of the poem).